There I was, living life, maybe struggling just a little bit. Marriage, just like life, has it's ups and downs. We get busy, life happens. We let those we love walk out the door and just maybe in the moment we are a little irritated with them. A week ago Monday, when I heard the news a young trooper, who was a young husband and father was killed it took me back in time. I imagined back to a time when I was the young trooper's wife. People would ask, "aren't you afraid", to which I would confidentially reply back, "of course not, I know how well he's trained and I know how much he loves this job". Inside though, I always carried the fear. Of course I was afraid! It was always something in the back of my mind then. It didn't consume my life, but it was always there but I knew how much he loved his job and I couldn't imagine him doing anything but what he loved.
So much is swirling in my head when I think about Sarah I cannot even put words to how I feel. When I think of her, I cannot breathe, the emotion and connection to her is overwhelming. I don't want Chris to leave my side, but I know reality is one can't live a normal life in this manner.
I know this lifetime is short and in my heart I understand why bad things happen. My God is always good even when bad things happen. I know the sure promise of eternal life. But for now, I just cannot seem to wash every last undershirt.